mac n cheese

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Posts by mac n cheese

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  30

  I put up lights this year

  by Zoos in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have always wanted to do that.. nothing special.

  in fact, i have learned i'm not very good at it.

  i have many talents.

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  mac n cheese

  Nice Zoos! I'm happy for you! I'm glad you had fun doing it too!

  This year I am actually getting a Christmas tree! Spouse finally caved, but I wouldn't be surprised if he changes him mind and makes me toss it out after awhile. He's struggling.

  Here's to progress, in whatever form that takes.

  Aren't you glad YOU can decide for yourself what that means?

  @fayedunaway, I feel the same when I hear those lyrics. My "worldly" family who stayed away during the holidays at my parents' request was always so sweet and kind whenever they were allowed to be. I've renewed family ties with them, at least, the ones that are still alive. It's bittersweet to not have my grandparents with us anymore.
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  29

  Reading the Bible in 6 months isn't "anything to brag about" - Anthony Morris

  by mac n cheese in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the 2015 annual meeting, specifically, part 1, right about minute 27, has anthony morris emphasizing that "you're better off reading one chapter (of the bible) and really absorbing it" than just reading the whole thing "as a challenge".

  while i agree with the the whole idea of meditating on anything you read, it was doing this very thing that brought up so many unanswered questions.

  i also came to the constant realization that the jws did not have a clue about what the bible really said.

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  mac n cheese

  I hope this works:

  http://tv.jw.org/#en/video/VODProgramsEvents/pub-jwbam_201510_1_VIDEO
  
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  29

  Reading the Bible in 6 months isn't "anything to brag about" - Anthony Morris

  by mac n cheese in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the 2015 annual meeting, specifically, part 1, right about minute 27, has anthony morris emphasizing that "you're better off reading one chapter (of the bible) and really absorbing it" than just reading the whole thing "as a challenge".

  while i agree with the the whole idea of meditating on anything you read, it was doing this very thing that brought up so many unanswered questions.

  i also came to the constant realization that the jws did not have a clue about what the bible really said.

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  mac n cheese

  The 2015 Annual Meeting, specifically, Part 1, right about minute 27, has Anthony Morris emphasizing that "you're better off reading one chapter (of the Bible) and really absorbing it" than just reading the whole thing "as a challenge".

  While I agree with the the whole idea of meditating on ANYTHING you read, it was doing this very thing that brought up so many unanswered questions. I also came to the constant realization that the JWs did not have a clue about what the Bible really said. And this was over many, many years of being a JW.

  Of course, his very second emphasis is "put ourselves" into the publications. He also pooh-poohs the available videos when compared to what we can read. This is very interesting, since he's announcing the change in the Theocratic School. He pretty much makes fun of the current Theocratic School. Everyone dutifully has a good laugh. When I pointed stuff like that out before, I got dragged into the backroom, in front of my husband, with a stern "talking to" and a comment to my husband that his "wife needed to learn some subjection" to the congregation. And this is when we were a pioneer couple with hubby being an elder. My husband, to his credit, told them they were out of line and that he agreed with me.

  I am so glad not to be part of this organization anymore. I wanted to hear this particular presentation to deal with my JW family, especially so I can hear what they're hearing.

  I don't think I'll be doing that anymore. Life is SO much better without these yahoos trying to tell me how to live my life.

  I especially love how the Annual Meeting audience clapped just for the name change, without even knowing what the new change was.

  The level of "yes men" mentality that has increased since we've been away just blows me away.
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  25

  Going Nuclear - Marriage

  by Sofia Lose in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  has anyone here gone nuclear on their spouse and, all of a sudden, came out in the open as a jw opposer?.

  by this i mean, sitting them down and saying: i no longer want to be a jw anymore, do not want to go to meetings or preaching anymore!

  and, what has happened in the relationship after that?.

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  mac n cheese

  Sofia Lose:

  That's what I wanted to do. I'm impatient by nature, especially when it comes to complete and utter BS. However, I took the advice of the bulk of the posters here and carefully planned my fade.

  You know your partner - you have a good instinct about how they react. Do you want to extricate both of you, still happily together? In my case, I KNEW my spouse would not respond with a direct hit or anything decisive. In the end, it took me 2-3 YEARS of constant support for us both to finally be inactive. It's taken another 6+ years for spouse to be ok with celebrating the holidays because he's all caught up on what his parents think. The only reason he's capitulating on that is that we've moved far away to a small town where nobody knows us...and FAR away from his parents.

  You've got a lot of good advice here - read, know your partner, and plan accordingly. Even then, it's life. And that rarely goes according to plan.

  Good luck!

  Mac n Cheese
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  21

  A Toast to All the Brave Kids Who Broke Up with Their Toxic Moms

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sometimes holidays can be hard on us.

  some of us deserve a little toast today.. a toast to all the brave kids who broke up with their toxic moms.

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  mac n cheese

  I did the same as Blondie did - this was one of the healthiest things I ever did for myself. I left the JWs soon afterwards. Feeling so much better after dumping that relationship made me realize how unhealthy that whole group was.

  Then it was just a matter of convincing the hubby to do the same.
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  91

  Setback

  by EdenOne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i saw this coming since my mother-in-law's funeral .... the congregation's "love-bombing" over my wife had its impact.

  i watched her drawing closer and closer to her friends in the congregation.

  then she decided she would attend the memorial.

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  mac n cheese

  EdenOne,

  I so feel for you on this. You're getting some great advice here on this thread - decide what works for your marriage and what you're comfortable with, even if the situation itself is probably your worst nightmare. At least you could see this coming, so that shows how well you know her - trust THAT knowledge. My heart aches for you, and I can see see how rational you've been throughout it all. I hope that this phase of your lives together will be short-lived, for both of your sakes.

  I'm completely out and done (inactive and never going back, don't believe it anymore), and my husband is inactive, but mentally still a JW. He says he's never going back, but he's got older faithful JW parents. I can totally see this happening to him when his parents die. He still believes in the resurrection, still believe it's "the truth", but of course, hasn't done any investigating on his own. He just quit everything and he's glad to not be on the JW treadmill again. He's also not very social and doesn't like people in general (probably because they were JWs), so getting him to learn how to make a real friend and how much work it is (from his point of view) is pretty tough. I can see this happening to him too, once his parents die. I'm steeling myself for this potential turn of events. I don't know how I will handle this, but it's good to be prepared.

  Keep visiting here and drawing strength and empathy from wherever you find it. Of course, keep us posted.

  Mac n Cheese
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  36

  Anyone going to the memorial this year?

  by Pyramid God in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was invited by my parents, and even though i have nothing but contempt for this religion, things have been good in our relationship so i was considering going just to appease them.

  anyone else?.

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  mac n cheese

  Ugh, yes.

  Spouse is physically out, but still very much mentally IN. At least we are inactive, but as far as doing anything else like normal people rather than JWs, NOPE.

  I really think this is how he's going to be forever. I just need to decide when I should start kicking up a serious fuss about all this nonsense and what I'm willing to do about it.

  Mac n Cheese
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  40

  Going to the meeting tonight ARGH!!!! So wanna end this pain NOW!

  by Julia Orwell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm only going to the meeting because of my husband!

  i was 'in' solo for years while living with my unbelieving family and i know how it feels to be the only one in your house going to the meeting.

  i also respect my husband's decision, and know what it's like to have family try to tear down your beliefs.

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  mac n cheese

  I really feel for you. I was in the same position for years! I would practice meditation techinques that would help me calm down and drown out the "noise" so I wouldn't get so irritated by the idiotic comments. After awhile, I could zone out quite a bit and actually looked forward to when I was forced to do nothing and I could relax. I also spent a lot of time writing - my thoughts, grocery lists, plans for the weekend, all kinds of things.

  I finally ended putting a single headphone in one ear, hidden underneath my clothing, coming up through the head hole of my shirt, and being hidden by hair. I listened to lots of podcasts, but just be careful that they're not funny ones if you're likely to laugh out loud.

  There are a lot of good suggestions here on the board, they kept me sane! Now we don't go anymore (yay!) but hubby says he's still a JW and insists on going to the Memorial and NOT doing any holidays or birthdays. There are days when I want to hit him over the head with JW literature but he doesn't even bother reading it anymore. He makes glacial moves, it's incredibly annoying.

  Breathe, and hang in there. We're with you!

  Mac n Cheese
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  6

  Can't they EVER answer a "normal" question?

  by mac n cheese in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok, so, some jws stopped by my apartment today.

  i knew two of the three that came to the door.

  they were all very friendly, no mention was made of our long absence from the kingdom hall, even though hubby is sporting a full beard.. here's what i don't get, i asked after several of their family members and the responses were, "oh, my sister and her husband are now regular pioneers" and "he's a ministerial servant now.

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  mac n cheese

  Ok, so, some JWs stopped by my apartment today. I knew two of the three that came to the door. They were all very friendly, no mention was made of our long absence from the Kingdom Hall, even though hubby is sporting a full beard.

  Here's what I don't get, I asked after several of their family members and the responses were, "Oh, my sister and her husband are now regular pioneers" and "He's a ministerial servant now." etc.

  Because we were all being polite I let it go at that, but really? I didn't ask about their status in the organization, I wanted to know HOW THEY WERE? This always annoyed me when I WAS a JW, now it's just a completely ridiculous response. I stood there and smiled politely, and moved on to the next boring topic.

  I know, this isn't earth shattering, what's more surprising is that we were treated better than when we were IN.

  Mac n Cheese
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  13

  When is it time to fully open up to a spouse

  by ihadnoidea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  recently my very active jw wife has been more critical of the wt and some of their stances.

  she has particularly been critical of topics that hit home to some of the things going on in lives of our families.

  i am still going through the motions as an active servant, but i am mentally out.

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  mac n cheese